Managing a Personal Dispute at Work

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Managing a Personal Dispute at Work
It's happened to all of us - a business argument that got personal, or a fierce personal disagreement in your team, or anywhere in the work environment

There are many causes, but the end result is always the same. One feels hurt, angry, misunderstood and wronged. Sometimes, it is the final straw to a list of events and circumstances which might not even be work-related. What is undoubtedly true though is that repairing the communication and interaction in the workplace is often not simple.

Pride is involved – where self-esteem, dignity, honour, self-respect and ego all have a place and role. Each has their own perspective and a different slant to the altercation or situation.

The effects of long-term disputes in the work environment are detrimental not only to the parties involved, but often to the rest of the team. It can even affect the possibilities of promotion and inclusion in other work events. Career advancement comes from networking, so the quality of relationships at work can vastly impact ones chances for climbing the ladder. A toxic relationship that don't improve drains time and energy. The relationship doesn't need to be great – neutral and respectful relationships are fine.

The primary solution is to actually sit down with each other when the "waters have calmed" and give each person an opportunity to put one's point of view forward. It's imperative that the one doesn't interrupt the other and listens with an open mind. One needs to explain how you were affected by what the other person said and did and for what he/she did not apologize. Obviously a good-faith element is needed with a good enough working relationship to warrant this effort in preserving and developing the relationship.

A few further ideas for improving relations at work:

• Practice Humility and say "Thank You" – Who wants to work with a 'know-it-all'.
• Be an Active Listener – Understand different cultures and norms.
• Be Honest – Acknowledge strained relationships and have a conversation.
• Engage and Encourage – Everybody wants to matter and be valued.
• Embrace Differences – Not everybody is the same, so understand the different backgrounds and experiences make us what we are.

		Comments by date▼ Comments by rating Rating
		Jaap de Jonge Editor, Netherlands
	1 Personal Disputes at the Office Thanks for your excellent posting. I think you have given some excellent tips for these situations where things have gotten out of hand or perhaps have been taken / perceived a bit too personally. Also take a look at the related discussion: Resolving a Business Argument.

		Dharles Kuyokwa Student (MBA), Malawi
	0 Personal Disputes at the Office Powerful and insightful topic. I am ready to practice those ideas at my work place.

		Wilma van Velde Coach, Netherlands
	1 Steps to Deal with a Personal Dispute Between 2 of your Employees as Their Manager Dealing with a personal dispute between two of your employees as their manager will benefit from a structured and empathetic approach. Here are suggested default steps to effectively handle such situation: STAY CALM AND OBJECTIVE: Keep your emotions in check and approach the situation with a calm and objective demeanor. Emotional reactions can escalate the conflict. ADDRESS THE ISSUE PRIVATELY: Arrange a private meeting with the two employees involved in the dispute. Choose a neutral and comfortable environment where both can express themselves freely. LISTEN ACTIVELY: Allow each person to express their concerns without interruption. Listen actively to gain a full understanding of the situation from both perspectives. EXPRESS YOURSELF CLEARLY: Clearly articulate your concerns and the impact of the dispute on the work environment without taking sides. Use "I" statements to express how you perceive the situation. FIND COMMON GROUND: Encourage the employees to look for areas of agreement and common ground. Finding commonality can help in resolving the dispute. SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS: Clearly outline the behavior and expectations going forward. Ensure that both employees understand the consequences of not adhering to these expectations. MEDIATE IF NECESSARY: If the employees are unable to reach a resolution on their own, provide mediation. Act as a neutral party to help them find common ground and come to a resolution. FOLLOW UP: Check in with the employees periodically after the dispute has been resolved to ensure that the resolution is working for both parties. DOCUMENT THE AGREEMENT: Once a resolution is reached, document the agreement in writing. This can help prevent any future misunderstandings. Remember, dealing with a personal dispute between two of your employees as their manager requires patience, empathy, and effective communication. By approaching the situation with professionalism and establishing a willingness to find common ground, you can probably resolve the conflict amicably.