How to Disagree with a Superior: Recommendations

How to Disagree with a Superior: Recommendations

Disagreeing with someone who is more powerful than you (e.g., your manager) can put you in a difficult situation. You have to carefully think about WHAT to say and more importantly the WAY you express your disagreements.
Gallo (2016) puts forward 9 tips with regard to disagreeing with your manager:

1. BE REALISTIC ABOUT THE RISKS: Because people tend to think in worst-case scenarios, they overestimate the risks involved in openly disagreeing with their superiors. You should also think carefully about the risks of NOT 'speaking up'. After that, you can more realistically weigh the possible positive and negative outcomes.
2. TIMING: Once the above risk assessment concludes that speaking up is the better option, then it is important to carefully think about the timing of speaking up. You might need more time to rethink the issue. You may benefit from getting more insights or views from colleagues, and develop your 'army' in case there are lots of opposing views. The setting is also important in timing: try to discuss the issue privately rather than publicly.
3. SHARED GOALS: If you are able to connect your thoughts on the issue to a shared goal of you and your superior, your chances of being heard and able to convince the other party are higher. By contextualizing your statements, people will see in what way your thoughts contribute to the shared goals.
4. ASK PERMISSION: Announce that you are disagreeing and ask your superior for permission to set out your arguments. It will provide your superior with some psychological safety and control.
5. BE CALM: Although the idea of openly disagreeing with your superior may make you nervous, that will only undercut the message. So try to find ways to remain calm: taking deep breaths, slowing pace etc. can help.
   
6. VALIDATION: Start by articulating the views of the other(s) first. This will create a strong basis for the discussion.
7. DON'T JUDGE: Carefully choose the words you want to use to share your thoughts. It is particularly important to focus on the facts, stay neutral and avoid 'judgement words'.
8. POLITENESS: Slightly understating your confidence in your thoughts will leave some space for dialogue. Show others that you are aware of the fact that your view is just another opinion and openly invite them to present other views.
   
9. ACKNOWLEDGE THE POWER OF YOUR SUPERIOR: One should not backtrack on one's views, but at the same time the final decision will be made by your superior and it is important to acknowledge that.

⇒ Do you have a further tip on how to handle the situation of having a different opinion than your boss? Please share your experiences...

Source: Gallo, A. "How to Disagree with Someone More Powerful than You" HBR March 2016.

		Comments Sort by date Sort by rating Rating
		17 anuradha Career Consultant, India
	How to Disagree with the Superior The above mentioned points are absolutely relevant. However, I would like to add that the points to ... Sign up

		5 C.L. Kappagomtula Professor, Malaysia
	Eulogy of Julius Caesar is the Perfect Case Study Yes, when you have to disagree with your superiors, the perfect example to follow is the style/deliv... Sign up

		12 Javier Elenes Business Consultant, Mexico
	Don't Disagree; Instead Ask a Key Question I recommend you do not disagree with a superior. Rather, enrich his/her thinking process with a KEY... Sign up

		9 David Lee Business Consultant, United Kingdom
	How to Disagree with a Superior Anneke and the subsequent responders provide a comprehensive technique for handling the challenge of... Sign up

		3 Paramathmuni srinivas Kumar India
	Healthy Debate May Resolve A subordinate in disagreement may be having a valid point which is critical to decision making. If t... Sign up

		2 Bashe Manager, South Africa
	Disagreeing with Superior Great article. I recently used the 9 points, in particular remaining CALM and being FACTUAL. Always ... Sign up

		7 Juan Perez Eras, Mexico
	Disagreeing When You Have Technical Arguments The WORST THING IS TO REMAIN SILENT when you are not agreeing with an issue, when you know you have ... Sign up

		7 Afshan Ali HR Consultant, Pakistan
	Disagreement with your Supervisor It is useful to ASSESS THE USUAL LEADERSHIP STYLE of your supervisor before starting a disagreement.... Sign up

		4 Dwarica Student (University), Trinidad and Tobago
	Disagreeing with a Superior Interesting article. Sometimes we should assess whether or not expressing our disagreement COULD AC... Sign up

		1 Paramathmuni srinivas Kumar India
	Disagreement in the Form of Constructive Criticism after Preparation As per experiential system CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM should be provided after sufficient preparation at... Sign up

		6 Adrian Green Coach, United Kingdom
	Balthasar Gracian's Quote on Advising a Prince @Nathalie De Broux: Hello Nathalie! I trust all is well with you. Nice to see you on this discussio... Sign up

		7 Emmanuel Mwirichia Manager, Kenya
	Always Agree with your Superior (in Public)... Before Disagreeing (In Private) Firstly, remember your superior is probably dealing with numerous FACTORS THAT YOU MAY NOT BE AWARE ... Sign up

		2 Benjamin Motlhabane Consultant, South Africa
	Diplomacy is Key I see a lot of disagreements in my current place of employment. It is not healthy at all. Some peopl... Sign up

		3 Kabesha PhD MBA HEALTHCARE Management Zambia
	Agree to Disagree First state the point of view of your superior and reengineer it by presenting new solutions. Confid... Sign up

		1 Paramathmuni srinivas Kumar India
	A State of Equanimity by the Boss is Key There is a saying that to maintain a good relation one has to follow the following principle "Satyam... Sign up

		0 oostvoorn Coach, Netherlands
	Superiority Itself is Debatable I’m convinced that no person is superior to another. Of course there are people who are more powerfu... Sign up

		3 Dil Prasad Shrestha, PhD Management Consultant, Nepal
	Disagreeing with the Boss/Superior I think it depends on the NATURE OF THE JOB and the legitimacy of POWER/AUTHORITY the superior has. ... Sign up

		3 Mumtaz Uddin Ahmed Management Consultant, Pakistan
	Disagree versus Experience If the supervisor is experienced, (s)he can raise an OPPORTUNITY TO EXPRESS DISAGREEMENT. He should ... Sign up

		2 Sascha A. Carlin, Germany
	Polite / Friendly Hi all… Anneke, what you listed is how anyone should behave when disagreeing with anyone else - at l... Sign up

		4 Chander Shenoy Business Consultant, India
	Analyze the Situation and its Impact Objectively Galo's tips are quite comprehensive and very relevant. To disagree with your boss is one thing, exp... Sign up

		4 Jacques-Alain TIAKO Manager, France
	Solving Conflicts And/or Disagreements with a Manager 1. PREPARATION of the Face-to-Face meeting with the manager A. First of all, anticipate the discuss... Sign up

		2 William Stadler Manager, United States
	How to Disagree with a Superior This is a valuable lesson and all the feedback here is relevant. It seems we all face the challenge ... Sign up

		2 GUADALUPE GABRIEL Manager, Mexico
	Disagreement with a Superior: Assertivity and Empathy @Anuradha: I agree and suggest following rule of thumb: ASSERTIVITY + EMPATHY = COMMUNICATION. If... Sign up

		3 Dr Hyacinth C. Abara Student (Other), Norway
	Only Present your Strongest Points Thank you, @David Lee. Your recommendation strikes me as very pertinent. Disagreeing with a superior... Sign up

		4 Nagarajan.S Manager, Singapore
	Superior is Probably more Experienced Practically your superior should be someone that is more experienced than you. That's probably the r... Sign up

		4 Ashutosh Narayan Student (MBA)
	Theoretical Aspects and Practical Solutions of Disagreeing with your Manager By reading the main article one can learn the THEORETICAL ASPECTS. And PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS or rather... Sign up

		2 RAJNARAYANAN B Teacher, India
	How to Disagree with a Centralized Superior/Boss While having all these thoughts we also need to consider the superior style, since some people alway... Sign up

		6 Engel Project Manager, Germany
	Quote from Steve Jobs on Smart People Beside all the wise advises about integrity and timing just a quote from Steve Jobs: "It doesn't... Sign up

		1 NYAMEKA MAKITSHI Manager, South Africa
	Disagreeing with your Superior First it is important to understand what the Superior meant by his arguments. Then one can accept wh... Sign up

		4 Dennis Student (University), Zimbabwe
	Disagreeing with Democratic and Autocratic Leaders I agree with @Afshan Ali that disagreeing with you superior is situational and depends on the leader... Sign up

		3 Abu Bakarr Dumbuya Student (MBA), Sierra Leone
	First Agree to Disagree with your Superior It is no crime to disagree with your superior, but the basic rule is that first we should agree to d... Sign up

		2 Amar Deep Seetohul Manager, Mauritius
	Disagreeing with your Superior Benefits from Trust and Relationship Among the 10 subordinates who report to me directly, there are 3 who have created such a relationshi... Sign up

		2 Juan Perez Eras, Mexico
	Ego Limits Ability to Listen @Nagarajan.S: In certain occasions, leaders of organization tend to belittle subordinates with opin... Sign up

		2 S. Lago Business Consultant, Canada
	Create a Document (Handout) I agree with the above comments that have been made regarding how to effectively disagree with a sup... Sign up

		2 Andre-Ambrosio ABRAMCZUK Teacher, Brazil
	Disagreeing with the Superior in Writing Once I heard about a boss who allowed his subordinates to disagree with him if they presented their ... Sign up

		8 Jaap de Jonge Editor, Netherlands
	Cultural Aspects of Disagreeing with Someone Else Nice contributions, everybody! This page has become a really good resource for disagreeing with seni... Sign up

		1 Chander Shenoy Business Consultant, India
	Put Yourself in your Boss's Shoes @Jaap de Jonge: That's indeed a very good remark, Jaap (Cultural Differences) which can be discussed... Sign up

		3 Musiyandaka Donna Student (University), Zimbabwe
	Disagree with the Organisation in Mind When disagreeing, it is also important to think of the effects of what you want to say on the organi... Sign up

		2 Gavril Management Consultant, Albania
	No Best Way to Disagree with any Superior I worked with both open minded superiors as well as the opposite type. Lessons learned are important... Sign up

		1 Delfor Ibarra Consultant, Argentina
	To Dissent is Part of Loyalty However, it is the way of transmitting dissent that makes it fertile or conflicting. While it is the... Sign up

		2 Borje Vickberg, Sweden
	Disagreeing with a Trump-like Superior Interesting ideas and reflexions. However as was mentioned by others, there are limitations dependin... Sign up

		3 Francis Manager, Thailand
	No One is Always Right and that Includes Yourself! Disagreement happens everyday but always remember no one is always correct, yourself included. And t... Sign up

		0 Delfor Ibarra Consultant, Argentina
	Gracias Francis! @Francis: It is possible that my point of view in Spanish does not reach to express my total agreeme... Sign up

		1 Chander Shenoy Business Consultant, India
	Motivate your Disagreement with Org Goals @Musiyandaka Donna: I agree that if you link disagreements to organizational goals this is likely to... Sign up

		1 Leslie Leckie Student (University), Jamaica
	How to Disagree with a Superior It is indeed important for staff members to realize that they can actually disagree with superiors. ... Sign up

		2 Maurice Hogarth Consultant, United Kingdom
	Disagreeing with a Line Senior: Itemized Response Approach A person may be “senior” to me (as manager or client) but not “superior” for I am not “inferior”. We... Sign up