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Jaap de Jonge
Editor, Netherlands
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8 Resolutions for Difficult Interpersonal Conversations
Sometimes a conversation (at work) can be awkward, difficult or not effective, despite of good intentions.
Monique Valcour describes 8 practical techniques you can apply to get a difficult interpersonal conversation “back on track”:
- SHIFT THE RELATIONSHIP from opposition to partnership.
Place yourself in the other person's shoes.
- REFRAME YOUR PURPOSE from convincing to learning.
Don't focus on making the other person adopt your view.
- VERBALIZE YOUR INTENTION.
Tell explicitly what you are trying to achieve with the conversation.
- AVOID ASSUMPTIONS.
Especially about what the other person is "probably" thinking.
- ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PART.
Admit you make/made mistakes too.
- LEARN YOUR ABCD'S.
Avoid Blame, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling.
- Examine difficult issues with OPENNESS AND CURIOSITY.
- SEEK INPUT to problem-solving.
Ask for feedback.
⇒ In what way do you turn a problematic conversation into a more positive one? Thanks for sharing your experiences and tips...
Source: Monique Valcour, "Eight Ways to get a Difficult Conversation Back on Track", HBR Fall 2018, pp.14-15.
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