What if You and Your Boss Don't Get Along Well?

What if You and Your Boss Don't Get Along Well?

If you don't get along, dislike or even hate your superior, that is an awkward situation to be in. Sometimes this situation occurs when a new person is appointed as your supervisor.
According to Gallup research, typical grievances about a “bad boss” include micromanagement, bullying people, avoiding conflicts, not taking decisions, stealing credits for successes, shifting blame when things go wrong, keeping information to themselves, not listening properly, setting a poor example, and not developing staff.

INSEAD Prof. Kets de Vries, a reputable leadership expert, recommends the following tactics to resolve dysfunctional dynamics with your manager:

1. PRACTICE EMPATHY. Be empathetic and put yourself in the shoes of your manager. Consider why (s)he is acting in that way. Is (s)he really inherently such a bad person? What pressures is (s)he under?
2. CONSIDER YOUR OWN ROLE. Look at yourself in a critical manner. Could it be you are part of the problem? Also observe and ask colleagues for their view on the situation.
3. OFFER A CHANCE TO CHANGE. If you are still convinced you’re not the problem, carefully prepare a meeting with your boss in a safe, private setting like a restaurant where you won’t be disdurbed and where it will be difficult for both people to leave prematurely. Announce beforehand that you have some serious personal concerns to discuss.
4. ORGANIZE A MUTINY. Make a substantial business case and collect documents and proof of your superior’s bad behavior and impact on the organization. Ask colleagues to support you in written form. If you can't build a strong case, you are well advised to skip this option and consider the next option instead. Remember mutiny and whistle-blowing may damage your current and even future job prospects.
5. PLAY FOR TIME OR MOVE ON. You can wait for some time to see if your bad boss leaves or things improve for another reason. If they don’t, simply leave. It's better for your stress levels. And after all, the world is so much bigger than the company you’re currently working in…

⇒ What are your experiences and recommendations regarding this awkward situation?

Source: Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries, “Do You Hate Your Boss? How to Deal with it.”, HBR Fall 2018, pp.30-33.

		Comments Sort by date Sort by rating Rating
		7 Musonda Ernest Kabwe Zambia
	What if You and your Boss don't Get Along Well? When you identify that you do not get along, you should choose to be happy and make sure to always d... Sign up

		3 Riphagen Financial Consultant, Netherlands
	Football Examples of these Tactics I think it is a good summary of the tactics. If you look at leadership situations in the public spot... Sign up

		0 Allemeersch Interim Manager, Belgium
	You are Still Master of your Destiny I agree that empathy should be your first exercise. It is normal for instance that a bean counter an... Sign up

		4 Francis Joseph United Kingdom
	Don’t Get Along with your Boss? Request a Meeting If a situation like this presents itself I will always maintain some level of respect and keep commu... Sign up

		1 C.L. Kappagomtula Professor, Malaysia
	Your Feelings of a Bad Boss Could Be a Myopic View and your Perception No boss is truly good or bad. It is an individual's perception. What you see as a bad boss may be a ... Sign up

		1 Justus Nyangau Business Consultant, Kenya
	What if You and your Boss Don't Get Along Well? It is normal that you can't be in agreement with everyone. It is good to take some time to understan... Sign up

		1 Ragab Gouda Manager, Egypt
	You and your Bad Boss First you should take some time to understand your new boss (his educational level, his experience, ... Sign up

		0 Moustapha Kaba Teacher, Guinea
	If You and your Boss don't Get Along Take distance from your boss to avoid conflicts or discussions if he/she is not happy to work with y... Sign up

		0 Magassouba Manager, Guinea
	If You don't Get Along Well with your Boss, what to Do? If you don't get along well with your boss, what you should do is to find out the cause, the source ... Sign up

		3 tebere moro james Manager
	Some People may never Change their Primary Characteristics From my own experiences, I once had an immediate line manager whom they warned me of his character, ... Sign up

		0 Justus Nyangau Business Consultant, Kenya
	Some People may never Change their Primary Characteristics @tebere moro james: We should understand that we all have different competences. Your competence cou... Sign up

		2 Maurice Hogarth Consultant, United Kingdom
	Manage your Manager As listed, there are many reasons (perceptions) for conflict with a line-manager with perceptions fr... Sign up

		0 PeterMaria van Herpen Switzerland
	Sometimes it Really Does not Work And be honest with yourself: Some personalities just do not fit together. And then it indeed is time... Sign up