(How) Can I improve my Emotional Intelligence?

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Emotional Intelligence > Best Practices > (How) Can I improve my Emotional Intelligence?

(How) Can I improve my Emotional Intelligence?
Angela
Can we improve our EI? How can I learn to be more emotional intelligent, and how can I unlearn ineffective habits I may have?
 

 
Improve Emotional Intelligence
Alvin Stacey
Good question. Sure you can, though it's not easy. And of course the answer depends on which of the 22 attributes you'd like to change...
Goleman says in general, first you need to understand what attribute or domain you'd like to change in what way. The next step is you practice, play or experiment with what you learned. You've got to do this repeatedly for it to be more effective and some support or coaching will be helpful.
 

 
Improve EI
Douglas Hamilton
Re Angela's comments - the Goleman texts are a good theoretical introduction. In my experience, he comes in for fire on two fronts. Some of the psych community sneer at the quality of his research, and I have also found that in trying to introduce EI principles to clients, they normally struggle to 'get' what is being said in any of the Goleman books.
In the final reckoning, it's the application which counts. The question then arises; 'for what purpose do you want to become adept in EI?' and once this is addressed, one can start looking at EI adept behaviour as the easiest path to fluency. From a practical application view, I recommend clients to start thinking 'before I carry out a particular behaviour, what will be the result of that behaviour on those around me?' This helps to develop better impact assessment, and therefore forms the steps to EI fluency.
As a practical application, I recommend 'Winning Behaviour' by Terry Bacon and David Pugh as a very readable and valuable text.
 

 
Improving EI: Hawkins' Map of Consciousness
Chris Newham
I accepted Goleman’s concept of emotional intelligence but found no useful practices to adopt. Alternatively, Dr. David Hawkins’ work provides a way to practically experience emotional intelligence. His “Map of Consciousness” identifies sixteen emotions ranging from the humiliation to the bliss and he describes how each arises from adopting a specific "positionality" or perspective.
Goleman and Hawkins comprehend similar brain physiologies but Hawkins' identifies a pivotal boundary between negative and positive emotions at the transition between gain-seeking and altruistic behaviors. With this reference, I find I can be more conscious of my emotions and in my responses.
Childhood conditioning and a lifetime of misunderstanding still make unlearning the old practices quite a challenge but at least I now have a path to follow! Hawkins’ writings (I find, "Transcending the Levels of Consciousness" to be his most practical) are well complemented by his very lighthearted lecture videos.
 

 
Tips to Improve your EI
Gruizll
- Most demanding in this issue is to find a partner coach, either a professional one or a friends-family resource.
- Get involved on an issue which really puzzles you, becoming a not well adapted person to that circumstance.
- Within the "game" you must avoid the first answer and look for another one, less emotional.
- Repetition is the key to success.
 

 
Improving and learning emotional intelligence
Steven
Emotional Intelligence is to a large extent determined by our Limbic System. The limbic system determines or supports a variety of functions including emotions, behavior, and long term memory.
Unlike our Neokortex (where our analytical capabilitiers are situated), the lymbic system learns by motivation, training, practice and feedback.
 

 
You Can Unlearn Ineffective Habits!
Beatriz Sosa
Hello, read the 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey. This book is one of my favorites and the ideas of "7 habits" are found on this website. This way--you will attain the emotional intelligence we all want! Enjoy!:-) Beatriz
 

 
Three Emotional Positions
Prasad V
Angela, it all starts from self awareness, most importantly knowing how you react to situation and be able to capture it over a period of time. This is the most critical step. It is necessary that you go through a lot of self evaluation on your own emotions.
There are basically three emotional positions that our mind has:
- EP1 - I will act the way I feel.
- EP2 - you will act the way I feel.
- EP3 - I cannot help the way I feel but I can help the way I can think and act.
Ep3 is the ideal state, but difficult to accomplish. This encompasses various other attributes like your ability to reason things, your application of logic, ability to analyse, your ability in understanding people all of which will lead to one getting the abilty to judge and rationalize.
I hope this information would be useful.
 

 
NLP and Others are Powerful Tools
Monteiro, Consultant, Portugal, Member
The human being is constructed over the years, gathering information that our brain files. In every situation, our sub conscience goes back to all info related and acts accordingly. This has been proved by António Damásio.
The challenge is to change our reactions that we've been having for years. Auto-critic and self-awareness are the key points to improve both EQ and IQ.
Neuro Lingusitic Programming (NLP, also PNL) teaches you how. It's a powerful tool for self re-programing, as well as improves your communication skills.
It allows you to understand yourself, others and communicate effectively with them and yourself. You can re-program your brain to act and react better to any situation.
 

 
Improving Soft Skills / Emotional Intelligence
Vernon Rupert Grant, United States, Member
Soft skills / emotional intelligence originates with a personal value or belief system -- from a cultural dynamic.
The behavior patterns that develop eventually frames our personality type.
Hence, our custom or tailored world of emotional / social intelligence (EI/SI).
To adjust EI/SI we cannot so much change ones personality, but rather "help" adjust their behavior patterns or attitudes that "may" result in any particular skill level.
 

 
Can I Improve my EI
Madhava Kumar, Management Consultant, India, Member
Who taught fish to swim; birds to fly. That is EI. EI cannot be developed, but yes it can be inculcated.
Everybody will have his own EI.
EI is related to mind or intuition. Change your mindset to improve your EI.
 

 
Almost Everything Can Be Improved, and also Emotional Intelligence
Jagdish B Acharya, Consultant, India, Premium Member
Human beings have a mind. The mind gives understanding and power to change. Your basic nature comes by instinct, but later one can improved yourself by practice, learning and feedback.
Even a fish knows how to swim, but to save itself from other creatures, it learns to swim in a different way; from practice or observation. Madhava Kumar himself admits that EI can be improved by changing mindset.
 

     
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