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Tips to Improve Assertiveness
Raza Usmani, ICT Consultant, Pakistan
Do you recognize the feeling: "When I say NO, I feel guilty..."?
According to Revelle College, UC San Diego, “One of the most common problems in communication is caused by trying to read people's minds or expecting them to read yours. If you want people to respond to your ideas and needs, you have to be able to say what they are, and say it in a way that will make others want to respond appropriately”.
Assertiveness is the ability to present one’s opinion positively, deal with conflicts sensibly and rationally when they occur while balancing one’s own needs with the needs of others.
Below I provide some ideas and techniques that you can use to improve your assertiveness skills and also help others to express themselves in a more assertive way.
Here are some tips to improve your assertiveness:
1. The very first and most important in all is: Remain calm under pressure.
2. Develop personal strategies to cope with stressful situations (instead of accepting all tasks and projects irrespective of priorities and workload).
3. Understand your own limitations and openly discuss problems and do not adopt body language or a voice level that conveys aggressiveness or submissiveness.
4. Manage the magnitude of work and ask for help where needed. Do not accept inappropriate workload without even asking for assistance.
5. Don't be obsessive about your own views and opinions and don't defend these to the end without considering others.
6. Present your ideas directly and sensitively.
7. Do not withdraw from situations when facing opposition or accept the point of views of others without questioning.
8. Adjust your body language and voice, carefully choosing words, to meet the needs of the situation.
9. The last and very important, learn to be able to say ‘NO’ and refuse opportunities without feeling you are offending the other person.
I would appreciate your views and reactions.
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